WEEK 8 PICKS/RESULTS

Week 8 Results...

Strait: 2-2; -$525
L $400 Colts (-13)
W $25 Heyward-Bey under 11.5 yds 1st reception
W $50 Titans (-3)
L $200 Saints (-10)

J Furnas: 2-3; -$700
W $300 Raiders (+16.5)
L $600 Colts (-13)
W $200 Eagles (PK)
L $500 Saints (-10)
L $100 Parlay - Packers to score first, Score within 6 minutes, Sanchez OVER

Mills: 4-2; +$200
W $100 Dolphins (+3.5)
L $100 Giants (PK)
W $100 Vikings (+3)
L $100 Scheffler OVER 30.5 rec yds
W $100 Texans (-3.5)
W $100 Vikings OVER 22 pts

Mansfield: 1-3; -$100
W $200 Texans (-3.5)
L $50 Colts (-13)
L $200 Saints (-10)
L $50 Parlay - Saints (-10), Colts (-13), Chargers (-16.5)

Hall: 2-5; -$500
L $200 Broncos (+3)
L $150 Colts (-13)
L $150 Jets (-3.5)
L $200 Jaguars (+3)
W $150 Vikings (+3)
W $150 Falcons (+10)
L $100 Parlay - Broncos, Jags, Jets

Kessler: 3-1; -$20
W $10 Texans (-3.5)
W $10 Vikings (+3)
W $10 Falcons (+10)
L $50 Parlay - Giants, Ravens, Dolphins

Shade: 2-2; +$360
W $500 Ravens (-3)
L $50 Giants (PK)
W $10 Raiders (+16.5)
L $100 Parlay - Giants (PK), Packers (-3), Scheffler OVER 30.5 rec yds

Hill: 3-10; -$480
L $10 Broncos (+3)
W $50 Bears (-13)
L $10 Bills (+3.5)
L $100 Colts (-13)
W $50 Cowboys (-9.5)
L $100 Giants
L $50 Chargers (-16.5)
L $10 Jags (+3)
W $10 Vikings (+3)
L $10 Cardinals (-10)
L $100 Saints (-10)
L $100 Scheffler OVER
L $100 Parlay - Colts, Giants, Scheffler OVER

Saunders: 4-5; -$70
L $25 Browns (+13)
W $25 Texans (-3.5)
L $40 Seahawks (+9.5)
L $50 Giants (PK)
W $15 Panthers (+10)
W $25 Heyward-Bey UNDER
L $25 Sanchez UNDER
W $25 Nicks UNDER
L $20 Parlay - Falcons (+10), Ravens (-3), Colts (-13)

Mobley: 0-5; -$600
L $25 Jets (-3.5)
L $400 Giants
L $25 Jaguars (+3)
L $125 Colts (-13)
L $25 Parlay - Packers UNDER, Giants, Colts

B Furnas: 2-4; +$40
W $90 Texans (-3.5)
W $20 Raiders (+16.5)
L $40 Jaguars (+3)
L $10 Saints (-10)
L $10 Slaton OVER 18.5 rush att
L $10 Nicks OVER 54.5 rec yds

Eller: 1-3; -$120
Has pulled a Unified Fund first. He sent in picks on Friday...then yesterday CANCELLED those picks in favor of other picks. I've listed both sets of picks just so we can see which were the best option.
W $10 Heyward-Bey UNDER 11.5 yds 1st reception
L $10 Packers Total Points UNDER 25
L $10 Vikings will be first team to score
L $110 Parlay - Heyward-Bey UNDER, Packers total points UNDER, Vikings 1st to score

Eller's Cancelled Picks:
L $10 Saints (-10)
L $10 Giants (PK)
L $10 Packers (-3)
L $110 Parlay - Saints, Giants, Packers

WEEK 8 LINES

Vegas is trying to win their money back...but can they handicap these games high enough?

Broncos @ Ravens (-3)
Browns @ Bears (-13)
Rams @ Detroit (OFF)
Texans (-3.5) @ Bills
49ers @ Colts (-13)
Dolphins @ Jets (-3.5)
Seahawks @ Cowboys (-9.5)
Giants @ Eagles (PK)
Raiders @ Chargers (-16.5)
Jaguars @ Titans (-3)
Vikings @ Packers (-3)
Panthers @ Cardinals (-10)
Falcons @ Saints (-10)

Player Props:
Heyward-Bey (OAK) o/u 11.5 rec yds 1st reception
T. Scheffler (DEN) o/u 30.5 rec yds
S. Slaton (HOU) o/u 18.5 rush attempts
M. Sanchez (NYJ) o/u 1.5 total pass TDs
H. Nicks (NYG) o/u 54.5 rec yds

Vikings-Packers Game Props:
1st team to score: Vikings or Packers
Will there be any score 6 minutes into the game? Yes/No
Vikings total points o/u 22 pts
Packers total points o/u 25 pts

WEEK 7 PICKS/RESULTS

And...dagger. For me, that is. Everyone else benefitted from that awful display of football. The OVER/UNDER is 6 years before we are competitive again...and I'm taking the OVER.

Congrats to everyone else smart enough to pick the Eagles - including Kessler who hits a massive Parlay and jumps right back into it. Stink also hits a parlay - the 4th of the week.

Strait: 4-0; +$780
W $400 Colts (-13.5)
W $50 Bengals (-1.5)
W $50 Eagles (-7)
W $40 Parlay - Bengals (-1.5), Colts (-13.5), Saints (-6.5)

Shade: 3-2; -$350
L $25 R. Mendenhall UNDER 3.5 yds 1st carry
W $25 Vikings-Steelers score 6:30 into game? NO
W $50 Packers (-7)
W $200 Patriots (-15)
L $600 Redskins (+7)
(No, that's not a typo...that's $600 on the worthless Redskins. After what was pretty much the most embarrassing week in the history of the franchise, all signs point to a complete self-destruction and continued embarrassment on Monday night in front of the whole Nation. There's no logical reason why the Redskins won't lose by 60. But you know, sometimes in life, things just don't make any sense. And that's why my boys will pull out a cover, if not an outright win.)

Hall: 3-4; -$75
W $200 P. Rivers UNDER 295.5 passing yds
L $200 Vikings (+4)
W $150 Jets (-6)
L $150 Bears (+1.5)
W $150 Saints (-6.5)
L $150 Falcons (+4)
L $75 Parlay - Grand Salami OVER 509.5 pts, P. Rivers UNDER, Vikings (+4)

Mansfield: 3-1; +$300
W $200 Chargers (-5)
W $100 Patriots (-15)
W $25 Mendenhall OVER 3.5 rush yds 1st carry
L $25 Parlay - Chargers (-5), Patriots (-15), Bears (+1.5)

J Furnas: 4-1; +$775
W $300 Saints (-6.5)
W $200 Colts (-13.5)
W $200 Pats (-15)
W $100 Eagles (-7)
L $25 Vikings (+4)

Saunders: 2-3; +$40
L $100 Falcons (+4)
W $100 Eagles (-7)
L $50 R. Mendenhall UNDER 3.5 yds 1st carry
L $50 A. Johnson OVER 6.5 receptions
W $20 Parlay - Eagles (-7), Saints (-6.5), Colts (-13.5)

Hill: 5-9-1; +$60
L $10 Panthers (-7)
W $10 Chargers (-5)
W $150 Colts (-13.5)
L $10 Vikings (+4)
W $50 Patriots (-15)
T $10 Texans (-3)
L $10 Raiders (+6)
L $75 Bears (+1.5)
L $10 Dolphins (+6.5)
L $25 Falcons (+4)
W $100 Eagles (-7)
L $100 Parlay - Colts, Eagles, Bears
L $10 P. Rivers (SD) OVER 295.5 passing yds
W $10 S. Rice (MIN) OVER 24.5 yds longest reception
L $10 Vikings - Steelers score 6:30 into the game? YES

Mobley: 2-2; +$195
W $125 Jets (-6)
W $125 Colts (-13.5)
L $10 Giants (-7)
L $45 Parlay - Grand Salami OVER 509.5 pts, Rivers UNDER, Rice UNDER

Mills: 4-0; +$1,200
W $50 Chargers (-5)
W $50 Colts (-13.5)
W $50 Eagles (-7)
W $150 Parlay - Chargers (-5), Texans OVER 23.5 pts, Saints (-6.5)

B Furnas: 2-2; -$60
W $20 Colts (-13.5)
L $20 Panthers (-7)
W $20 Eagles (-7)
L $80 Parlay - Giants (-7), Bears (+1.5), Vikings-Steelers score 6:30? YES

Eller: 2-2; -$100
W $10 Colts (-13.5)
L $10 Giants (-7)
W $10 Eagles (-7)
L $110 Parlay - Colts (-13.5), Giants (-7), Eagles (-7)

Kessler: 4-0; +$800
W $10 Colts (-13.5)
W $10 Steelers (-4)
W $10 Bengals (-1.5)
W $110 Parlay - Colts (-13.5), Packers (-7), Eagles (-7)

WEEK 7 LINES

Don't forget to check out the tantalyzing new Game Props section...

Bills @ Panthers (-7)
Chargers (-5) @ Chiefs
Green Bay (-7) @ Cleveland
Colts (-13.5) @ Rams
Vikings @ Steelers (-4)
Patriots (-15) @ Bucs
49ers @ Texans (-3)
Jets (-6) @ Raiders
Bears @ Bengals (-1.5)
Saints (-6.5) @ Dolphins
Falcons @ Cowboys (-4)
Cardinals @ Giants (-7)
Eagles (-7) @ Redskins

Player Props
P. Rivers (SD) o/u 295.5 passing yds
A. Johnson (HOU) o/u 6.5 receptions
D. Anderson (CLE) o/u 28.5 yds longest completion
S. Rice (MIN) o/u 24.5 yds longest reception
R. Mendenhall (PIT) o/u 3.5 yds on 1st rush attempt

Game Props NEW
Vikings vs. Steelers - Will there be any score 6 minutes and 30 seconds into the game? (Yes/No)
Texans - o/u 23.5 total points
NFL Grand Salami (Total pts scored in all SUNDAY games) - o/u 509.5 pts

Week 6 Performance Bonuses

Congrats to the top 5 for the first 1/3 of the season...performance bonuses below:

1. Strait: $1,000 + $200 Bonus = $1,200

2. Shade: $980 + 100 Bonus = $1,080

3. Hall: $900 + $75 Bonus = $975

4. Mansfield: $800 + $50 Bonus = $850

5. J Furnas: $700 + $25 Bonus = $725

WEEK 6 PICKS/RESULTS

Strait stays hot with his second straight MONSTER week, taking the lead. Eller JUST misses out on a huge parlay bet thanks to awful red zone execution by the Bears last night.

11 weeks remain...PLENTY of time for everyone to come back.

Shade: 2-2; -$100
L $100 Giants (+3)
W $25 A. Rodgers OVER 272.5 pass yds
W $25 Packers (-13)
L $50 Parlay - Falcons (-3), Jaguars (-9.5), Giants (+3)

Hall:
No picks received. It's a bold strategy Cotton, let's see how that pays off for him.

Mansfield: 3-1; +$40
W $20 Chiefs (+6)
W $20 Panthers (-3)
W $20 Texans (+4.5)
L $20 Giants (+3)

J Furnas: 2-4; EVEN
W $200 Chiefs (+6)
W $100 Panthers (-3)
L $100 Vikings (-3)
L $100 Lions (+13)
L $50 Titans (+9)
L $50 Bears (+3)

Strait: 2-2; +$420
W $250 Patriots (-9)
W $250 Packers (-13)
L $70 Eagles (-14)
L $10 Bengals (-4.5)

Saunders: 4-2; +$30
W $30 Chiefs (+6)
W $20 Ravens (+3)
W $20 Texans (+4.5)
W $30 Panthers (-3)
L $50 Jets (-9.5)
L $20 Parlay - Jets (-9.5), Panthers (-3), Chiefs (+6)

Mills: 1-5; -$250
L $100 Chargers (-3.5)
W $100 Cardinals (+3)
L $100 Vikings (-3)
L $100 Giants (+3)
L $25 Parlay - Giants (+3), Chargers (-3.5), Cardinals (+3)
L $25 Ray Lewis OVER 9.5 solo + assisted tackles

Hill: 7-7: +$55
W $150 Chiefs (+6)
W $10 Texans (+4.5)
L $10 Steelers (-14)
L $20 Jaguars (-9.5)
W $45 Saints (-3)
W $10 Panthers (-3)
L $20 Eagles (-14)
L $20 Seahawks (-3)
L $10 Jets (-9.5)
W $10 Patriots (-9)
L $10 Chargers (-3.5)
L $100 Parlay - Panthers (-3), Patriots (-9), Eagles (-14)
W $10 A. Rodgers OVER 272.5 pass yds
W $10 S. Slaton OVER 93.5 rush+rec yds

Mobley: 2-2; -$25
L $50 Seahawks (-3)
L $50 Bengals (-4.5)
W $50 B. Favre OVER 20.5 completions
W $25 Panthers (-3)

B Furnas: 2-2; -$80
L $10 A. Rodgers UNDER 272.5 pass yds
W $10 Panthers (-3)
W $10 Browns (+14)
L $90 Parlay - Redskins (-6), Patriots (-9), B. Edwards OVER 4 receptions

Eller: 2-2; -$80
Who disclosed that he made all of his picks via coin flip this week...
W $10 Ravens (+3)
W $10 Saints (-3)
L $10 Bears (+3)
L $90 Parlay - Ravens (+3), Saints (-3), Bears (+3)

Kessler: 2-2; -$60
L $70 Parlay - Broncos (+3.5), Chicago (+3), Jaguars (-9.5)
L $10 Bengals (-4.5)
W $10 Ravens (+3)
W $10 Chiefs (+6)

WEEK 6 LINES

Since this week is an important week in the Unified Fund season, given that performance bonuses will be handed out to the top 5 competitors at the end of this week, I have decided to offer everyone free money.

Seriously. It's simple to collect. Just take all of your money, and put it on the Chiefs +6. Then take your real money that's in your bank account, fly to Vegas, and put everything on the Chiefs Moneyline. While my conscious will not allow me to bet against the Skins, this is a flat out guarantee for the 11 other sane people in this league. Throw out normal logic like the fact that the Redskins' largest margin of victory in the last 2 years is 8 points, or the fact that Jim Zorn's playbook only contains a jumbo run left and 9 versions of a screen pass. Forget all that logic. To cover 6 points, Vegas is assuming that the Redskins are actually capable of scoring at least 7 points, which is frankly no longer a possibility. The offensive line the Redskins started with this season was arguably the worst in the league. Now they're arguably the worst ever in the history of the NFL. They've lost 2 starters including pro bowler Chris Samuels, and they're moving their undrafted free agent Right Tackle (Panthers fans might remember him - he's the one who Julius Peppers pancaked 3 yards into the end zone for a safety last week) to protect Jason Campbell's blind side. So Campbell will be carted off the field with a broken leg in the 2nd quarter after fumbling at least 3 times. Enter Todd Collins. He's got a quicker release than Campbell which will help him against the pressure, but he has an arm made of pasta. He might be able to throw a ball 30 yards. On a bounce. So there's at least 2 picks on underthrows, one for a TD. Now you may be thinking...wait Shade, what about the Skins' defense. It's upgraded. Daniel Synder spent the GNP of Myanmar on free agents this offseason. They could single handedly get the Skins a cover. I can understand how you'd think that, but you'd be wrong. Albert Haynesworth gets hurt at least 4 times a game, and the times he's actually in the game I'm convinced he can't see because his helmet doesn't fit. Carlos Rogers will be in position for at least 2 pick-sixes but the ball will harmlessly fall off his cement hands. DeAngelo Hall will find himself needing to make a critical tackle on an aging bootlegging caucasion Quarterback in the final minutes and let his white ass drag him 4 yards for a game-clinching first down. It happens every game. Dwayne Bowe will singelhandedly make the Pro Bowl with his stats from this one game. Larry Johnson will recapture the 2005 magic and score two TDs, leaping into the arms of a linemen and throwing up the two-handed diamond symbol in honor of Jay-Z and Rashaad McCants on both occasions. Jim Zorn will be the first coach in the history of the NFL to be fired mid-game after he calls draw play on 4th and 17, gains 4 yards and then challenges the spot. It all adds up to a 61-3 Chiefs victory.

Which is why I would suggest going with the Chiefs +6. But, if you don't want to, here are the full slot of lines:

Chiefs @ Redskins (-6)
Texans @ Bengals (-4.5)
Browns @ Steelers (-14)
Ravens @ Vikings (-3)
Rams @ Jaguars (-9.5)
Giants @ Saints (-3)
Panthers (-3) @ Bucs
Lions @ Packers (-13)
Eagles (-14) @ Raiders
Cardinals @ Seahawks (-3)
Bills @ Jets (-9.5)
Titans @ Patriots (-9)
Bears @ Falcons (-3)
Broncos @ Chargers (-3.5)

Player Props

A. Rodgers (GB) o/u 272.5 passing yds
R. Lewis (BAL) o/u 9.5 solo + assisted tackles
B. Favre (MIN) o/u 20.5 completions
S. Slaton (HOU) o/u 93.5 rush + receiving yds
B. Edwards (NYJ) o/u 4 receptions