WEEK 8 LINES

Vegas is trying to win their money back...but can they handicap these games high enough?

Broncos @ Ravens (-3)
Browns @ Bears (-13)
Rams @ Detroit (OFF)
Texans (-3.5) @ Bills
49ers @ Colts (-13)
Dolphins @ Jets (-3.5)
Seahawks @ Cowboys (-9.5)
Giants @ Eagles (PK)
Raiders @ Chargers (-16.5)
Jaguars @ Titans (-3)
Vikings @ Packers (-3)
Panthers @ Cardinals (-10)
Falcons @ Saints (-10)

Player Props:
Heyward-Bey (OAK) o/u 11.5 rec yds 1st reception
T. Scheffler (DEN) o/u 30.5 rec yds
S. Slaton (HOU) o/u 18.5 rush attempts
M. Sanchez (NYJ) o/u 1.5 total pass TDs
H. Nicks (NYG) o/u 54.5 rec yds

Vikings-Packers Game Props:
1st team to score: Vikings or Packers
Will there be any score 6 minutes into the game? Yes/No
Vikings total points o/u 22 pts
Packers total points o/u 25 pts

WEEK 7 PICKS/RESULTS

And...dagger. For me, that is. Everyone else benefitted from that awful display of football. The OVER/UNDER is 6 years before we are competitive again...and I'm taking the OVER.

Congrats to everyone else smart enough to pick the Eagles - including Kessler who hits a massive Parlay and jumps right back into it. Stink also hits a parlay - the 4th of the week.

Strait: 4-0; +$780
W $400 Colts (-13.5)
W $50 Bengals (-1.5)
W $50 Eagles (-7)
W $40 Parlay - Bengals (-1.5), Colts (-13.5), Saints (-6.5)

Shade: 3-2; -$350
L $25 R. Mendenhall UNDER 3.5 yds 1st carry
W $25 Vikings-Steelers score 6:30 into game? NO
W $50 Packers (-7)
W $200 Patriots (-15)
L $600 Redskins (+7)
(No, that's not a typo...that's $600 on the worthless Redskins. After what was pretty much the most embarrassing week in the history of the franchise, all signs point to a complete self-destruction and continued embarrassment on Monday night in front of the whole Nation. There's no logical reason why the Redskins won't lose by 60. But you know, sometimes in life, things just don't make any sense. And that's why my boys will pull out a cover, if not an outright win.)

Hall: 3-4; -$75
W $200 P. Rivers UNDER 295.5 passing yds
L $200 Vikings (+4)
W $150 Jets (-6)
L $150 Bears (+1.5)
W $150 Saints (-6.5)
L $150 Falcons (+4)
L $75 Parlay - Grand Salami OVER 509.5 pts, P. Rivers UNDER, Vikings (+4)

Mansfield: 3-1; +$300
W $200 Chargers (-5)
W $100 Patriots (-15)
W $25 Mendenhall OVER 3.5 rush yds 1st carry
L $25 Parlay - Chargers (-5), Patriots (-15), Bears (+1.5)

J Furnas: 4-1; +$775
W $300 Saints (-6.5)
W $200 Colts (-13.5)
W $200 Pats (-15)
W $100 Eagles (-7)
L $25 Vikings (+4)

Saunders: 2-3; +$40
L $100 Falcons (+4)
W $100 Eagles (-7)
L $50 R. Mendenhall UNDER 3.5 yds 1st carry
L $50 A. Johnson OVER 6.5 receptions
W $20 Parlay - Eagles (-7), Saints (-6.5), Colts (-13.5)

Hill: 5-9-1; +$60
L $10 Panthers (-7)
W $10 Chargers (-5)
W $150 Colts (-13.5)
L $10 Vikings (+4)
W $50 Patriots (-15)
T $10 Texans (-3)
L $10 Raiders (+6)
L $75 Bears (+1.5)
L $10 Dolphins (+6.5)
L $25 Falcons (+4)
W $100 Eagles (-7)
L $100 Parlay - Colts, Eagles, Bears
L $10 P. Rivers (SD) OVER 295.5 passing yds
W $10 S. Rice (MIN) OVER 24.5 yds longest reception
L $10 Vikings - Steelers score 6:30 into the game? YES

Mobley: 2-2; +$195
W $125 Jets (-6)
W $125 Colts (-13.5)
L $10 Giants (-7)
L $45 Parlay - Grand Salami OVER 509.5 pts, Rivers UNDER, Rice UNDER

Mills: 4-0; +$1,200
W $50 Chargers (-5)
W $50 Colts (-13.5)
W $50 Eagles (-7)
W $150 Parlay - Chargers (-5), Texans OVER 23.5 pts, Saints (-6.5)

B Furnas: 2-2; -$60
W $20 Colts (-13.5)
L $20 Panthers (-7)
W $20 Eagles (-7)
L $80 Parlay - Giants (-7), Bears (+1.5), Vikings-Steelers score 6:30? YES

Eller: 2-2; -$100
W $10 Colts (-13.5)
L $10 Giants (-7)
W $10 Eagles (-7)
L $110 Parlay - Colts (-13.5), Giants (-7), Eagles (-7)

Kessler: 4-0; +$800
W $10 Colts (-13.5)
W $10 Steelers (-4)
W $10 Bengals (-1.5)
W $110 Parlay - Colts (-13.5), Packers (-7), Eagles (-7)

WEEK 7 LINES

Don't forget to check out the tantalyzing new Game Props section...

Bills @ Panthers (-7)
Chargers (-5) @ Chiefs
Green Bay (-7) @ Cleveland
Colts (-13.5) @ Rams
Vikings @ Steelers (-4)
Patriots (-15) @ Bucs
49ers @ Texans (-3)
Jets (-6) @ Raiders
Bears @ Bengals (-1.5)
Saints (-6.5) @ Dolphins
Falcons @ Cowboys (-4)
Cardinals @ Giants (-7)
Eagles (-7) @ Redskins

Player Props
P. Rivers (SD) o/u 295.5 passing yds
A. Johnson (HOU) o/u 6.5 receptions
D. Anderson (CLE) o/u 28.5 yds longest completion
S. Rice (MIN) o/u 24.5 yds longest reception
R. Mendenhall (PIT) o/u 3.5 yds on 1st rush attempt

Game Props NEW
Vikings vs. Steelers - Will there be any score 6 minutes and 30 seconds into the game? (Yes/No)
Texans - o/u 23.5 total points
NFL Grand Salami (Total pts scored in all SUNDAY games) - o/u 509.5 pts

Week 6 Performance Bonuses

Congrats to the top 5 for the first 1/3 of the season...performance bonuses below:

1. Strait: $1,000 + $200 Bonus = $1,200

2. Shade: $980 + 100 Bonus = $1,080

3. Hall: $900 + $75 Bonus = $975

4. Mansfield: $800 + $50 Bonus = $850

5. J Furnas: $700 + $25 Bonus = $725

WEEK 6 PICKS/RESULTS

Strait stays hot with his second straight MONSTER week, taking the lead. Eller JUST misses out on a huge parlay bet thanks to awful red zone execution by the Bears last night.

11 weeks remain...PLENTY of time for everyone to come back.

Shade: 2-2; -$100
L $100 Giants (+3)
W $25 A. Rodgers OVER 272.5 pass yds
W $25 Packers (-13)
L $50 Parlay - Falcons (-3), Jaguars (-9.5), Giants (+3)

Hall:
No picks received. It's a bold strategy Cotton, let's see how that pays off for him.

Mansfield: 3-1; +$40
W $20 Chiefs (+6)
W $20 Panthers (-3)
W $20 Texans (+4.5)
L $20 Giants (+3)

J Furnas: 2-4; EVEN
W $200 Chiefs (+6)
W $100 Panthers (-3)
L $100 Vikings (-3)
L $100 Lions (+13)
L $50 Titans (+9)
L $50 Bears (+3)

Strait: 2-2; +$420
W $250 Patriots (-9)
W $250 Packers (-13)
L $70 Eagles (-14)
L $10 Bengals (-4.5)

Saunders: 4-2; +$30
W $30 Chiefs (+6)
W $20 Ravens (+3)
W $20 Texans (+4.5)
W $30 Panthers (-3)
L $50 Jets (-9.5)
L $20 Parlay - Jets (-9.5), Panthers (-3), Chiefs (+6)

Mills: 1-5; -$250
L $100 Chargers (-3.5)
W $100 Cardinals (+3)
L $100 Vikings (-3)
L $100 Giants (+3)
L $25 Parlay - Giants (+3), Chargers (-3.5), Cardinals (+3)
L $25 Ray Lewis OVER 9.5 solo + assisted tackles

Hill: 7-7: +$55
W $150 Chiefs (+6)
W $10 Texans (+4.5)
L $10 Steelers (-14)
L $20 Jaguars (-9.5)
W $45 Saints (-3)
W $10 Panthers (-3)
L $20 Eagles (-14)
L $20 Seahawks (-3)
L $10 Jets (-9.5)
W $10 Patriots (-9)
L $10 Chargers (-3.5)
L $100 Parlay - Panthers (-3), Patriots (-9), Eagles (-14)
W $10 A. Rodgers OVER 272.5 pass yds
W $10 S. Slaton OVER 93.5 rush+rec yds

Mobley: 2-2; -$25
L $50 Seahawks (-3)
L $50 Bengals (-4.5)
W $50 B. Favre OVER 20.5 completions
W $25 Panthers (-3)

B Furnas: 2-2; -$80
L $10 A. Rodgers UNDER 272.5 pass yds
W $10 Panthers (-3)
W $10 Browns (+14)
L $90 Parlay - Redskins (-6), Patriots (-9), B. Edwards OVER 4 receptions

Eller: 2-2; -$80
Who disclosed that he made all of his picks via coin flip this week...
W $10 Ravens (+3)
W $10 Saints (-3)
L $10 Bears (+3)
L $90 Parlay - Ravens (+3), Saints (-3), Bears (+3)

Kessler: 2-2; -$60
L $70 Parlay - Broncos (+3.5), Chicago (+3), Jaguars (-9.5)
L $10 Bengals (-4.5)
W $10 Ravens (+3)
W $10 Chiefs (+6)

WEEK 6 LINES

Since this week is an important week in the Unified Fund season, given that performance bonuses will be handed out to the top 5 competitors at the end of this week, I have decided to offer everyone free money.

Seriously. It's simple to collect. Just take all of your money, and put it on the Chiefs +6. Then take your real money that's in your bank account, fly to Vegas, and put everything on the Chiefs Moneyline. While my conscious will not allow me to bet against the Skins, this is a flat out guarantee for the 11 other sane people in this league. Throw out normal logic like the fact that the Redskins' largest margin of victory in the last 2 years is 8 points, or the fact that Jim Zorn's playbook only contains a jumbo run left and 9 versions of a screen pass. Forget all that logic. To cover 6 points, Vegas is assuming that the Redskins are actually capable of scoring at least 7 points, which is frankly no longer a possibility. The offensive line the Redskins started with this season was arguably the worst in the league. Now they're arguably the worst ever in the history of the NFL. They've lost 2 starters including pro bowler Chris Samuels, and they're moving their undrafted free agent Right Tackle (Panthers fans might remember him - he's the one who Julius Peppers pancaked 3 yards into the end zone for a safety last week) to protect Jason Campbell's blind side. So Campbell will be carted off the field with a broken leg in the 2nd quarter after fumbling at least 3 times. Enter Todd Collins. He's got a quicker release than Campbell which will help him against the pressure, but he has an arm made of pasta. He might be able to throw a ball 30 yards. On a bounce. So there's at least 2 picks on underthrows, one for a TD. Now you may be thinking...wait Shade, what about the Skins' defense. It's upgraded. Daniel Synder spent the GNP of Myanmar on free agents this offseason. They could single handedly get the Skins a cover. I can understand how you'd think that, but you'd be wrong. Albert Haynesworth gets hurt at least 4 times a game, and the times he's actually in the game I'm convinced he can't see because his helmet doesn't fit. Carlos Rogers will be in position for at least 2 pick-sixes but the ball will harmlessly fall off his cement hands. DeAngelo Hall will find himself needing to make a critical tackle on an aging bootlegging caucasion Quarterback in the final minutes and let his white ass drag him 4 yards for a game-clinching first down. It happens every game. Dwayne Bowe will singelhandedly make the Pro Bowl with his stats from this one game. Larry Johnson will recapture the 2005 magic and score two TDs, leaping into the arms of a linemen and throwing up the two-handed diamond symbol in honor of Jay-Z and Rashaad McCants on both occasions. Jim Zorn will be the first coach in the history of the NFL to be fired mid-game after he calls draw play on 4th and 17, gains 4 yards and then challenges the spot. It all adds up to a 61-3 Chiefs victory.

Which is why I would suggest going with the Chiefs +6. But, if you don't want to, here are the full slot of lines:

Chiefs @ Redskins (-6)
Texans @ Bengals (-4.5)
Browns @ Steelers (-14)
Ravens @ Vikings (-3)
Rams @ Jaguars (-9.5)
Giants @ Saints (-3)
Panthers (-3) @ Bucs
Lions @ Packers (-13)
Eagles (-14) @ Raiders
Cardinals @ Seahawks (-3)
Bills @ Jets (-9.5)
Titans @ Patriots (-9)
Bears @ Falcons (-3)
Broncos @ Chargers (-3.5)

Player Props

A. Rodgers (GB) o/u 272.5 passing yds
R. Lewis (BAL) o/u 9.5 solo + assisted tackles
B. Favre (MIN) o/u 20.5 completions
S. Slaton (HOU) o/u 93.5 rush + receiving yds
B. Edwards (NYJ) o/u 4 receptions

WEEK 5 PICKS/RESULTS

Big moves for a lot of competitors today - in the right or wrong direction.

Mr. Strait goes PERFECT (only the 2nd perfect week of the year so far) and doubles up his stack, while J Furn goes for a league-high $260 in winnings. The defending Champ makes $235, Hall racks up $200 more.

Those of you who went the opposite direction...well, you don't need to hear about it any more, I'm sure.

Shade: 1-3; +$100
L $20 49ers (-2.5)
L $20 Bills (-6)
W $200 Brady OVER 1.5 TD passes
L $60 Parlay - Pats (-3), Vikings (-10), 49ers (-2.5)

Mansfield: 3-2; +$235
W $200 Colts (-3.5)
W $50 Vikings (-10)
W $20 Brady OVER 1.5 TD passes
L $10 Pats (-3)
L $25 Steelers (-10.5)

Saunders: 1-4; -$95
L $20 Panthers (-3.5)
L $20 Jets (-2)
L $50 Pats (-3)
W $15 Lions (+10.5)
L $20 Parlay - Chiefs (+8.5), Panthers (-3.5), Falcons (+2.5)

Hill: 2-11; -$260
W $10 Chiefs (+8.5) - Do they still have NFL teams in Missouri?
L $50 Panthers (-3.5) - Betting on Jake "Mr. Bojangles" Delhomme always pays off!
L $10 Buccaneers (+15) - Andy "Cheesesteak" Reid is going to regret benching Kolb
L $10 Raiders (+15) - I love betting on teams with Quarterbacks who could swallow me whole.
L $10 Ravens (-8.5) - Eightfive will be too busy sending his 9000th tweet to catch a TD in this one. Kiss the baby.
L $10 Rams (+10) - Do they still have NFL teams in Missouri?
L $10 Bills (-6) - TO = TD this week.
L $10 Steelers (-10.5) - Mos Def is going to run all over the Lions.
L $100 49ers (-2.5) - Say goodbye Stabucks and hello Glen.
L $10 Texans (+5.5) - Kurt Warner is going to forget 2 things this week: to dye his hair and to hold on to the football.
W $100 Colts (-3.5) - Are we sure Peyton Manning is human? Who is Pierre Garcon? Austin Collie!?!?
L $50 Jets (-2) - Screw the wildcat.
L $100 Parlay - Panthers (-3.5), Colts (-3.5), Vikings (-10)

Mills: 3-5; -$100
L $100 Patriots (-3)
W $100 Colts (-3.5)
L $50 Bills (-6)
L $50 Steelers (-10.5)
L $50 49ers (-2.5)
W $50 Cardinals (-5.5)
L $25 Parlay - Patriots (-3), Colts (-3.5), 49ers (-2.5)
W $25 C. Palmer OVER 210.5 passing yds

J Furnas: 2-3; +$160
W $200 Colts (-3.5)
L $100 Jets (-2)
W $100 Cards (-5.5)
L $20 Pats (-3)
L $20 Parlay - Vikings (-10), Steelers (10.5), and Colts (-3.5)

Eller: 1-3; -$110
L $10 49ers (-2.5)
W $10 Colts (-3.5)
L $10 Jets (-2)
L $100 Parlay - 49ers, Colts, Jets

Mobley: 1-3; -$300
L $250 Jaguars (+1.5)
L $50 Pats (-3)
L $50 Jets (-2)
W $50 Brady OVER 1.5 TDs

Strait: 4-0; +$240
W $200 Giants (-10)
W $20 Colts (-3.5)
W $10 C. Palmer OVER 210.5 passing yds
W $10 T. Brady OVER 1.5 TD passes

Kessler: 0-4; -$120
L $90 Parlay - Colts (-3.5), Steelers (-10.5), Jets (-2)
L $10 Pats (-3)
L $10 Jags (+1.5)
L $10 Bucs (+15)

Furnas: 1-3; -$240
L $230 Panthers (-3.5)
W $10 Seahawks (-1.5)
L $10 Rams (+10)
L $10 Parlay - Steelers (-10.5), Brady OVER 1.5 pass tds, Campbell UNDER 217.5 pass yds

Hall: 3-2; +$200
W $150 Redskins (+3.5)
W $150 Bengals (+8.5)
W $150 Vikings (-10)
L $150 49ers (-2.5)
L $100 Parlay - Campbell OVER 217.5 pass yds, Redskins (+3.5), Bengals (+8.5)

Week 5 Lines

Wow, hard to believe we're already 5 weeks through the season. Only 3 more weeks and the Redskins will be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs and I can enjoy football again.

REMINDER: Remember that Top 5 performance bonuses are awarded after week 6. Bonuses will be given out as follows:
1st place: $200 bonus
2nd place: $100 bonus
3rd place: $75 bonus
4th place: $50 bonus
5th place: $25 bonus

It's anybody's bonus to win...it only takes one big bet...

With that, let's get to this week's action:

Cowboys (-8.5) @ Chiefs
Redskins @ Panthers (-3.5)
Buccaneers @ Eagles (-15)
Raiders @ Giants (-15)
Bengals @ Ravens (-8.5)
Vikings (-10) @ Rams
Browns @ Bills (-6)
Steelers (-10.5) @ Lions
Falcons @ 49ers (-2.5)
Texans @ Cardinals (-5.5)
Jaguars @ Seahawks (-1.5)
Patriots (-3) @ Broncos
Colts (-3.5) @ Titans
Jets (-2) @ Dolphins

Player Props

C. Palmer (CIN) o/u 210.5 passing yds
J. Campbell (WAS) o/u 217.5 passing yds
M. Sims-Walker (JAX) o/u 5.5 receptions
T. Hightower (ARI) o/u 4.5 receptions
T. Brady (NE) o/u 1.5 TD passes

Week 4 Picks/Results

First, let me apologize for my tardiness and the lack of player props posted, I had less internet access than I thought I would in the mountains of Sevierville, TN, the home of puke orange. I spent most of my time there telling the locals that Lane Kiffin is a homo, Peyton Manning is overrated, and doing the Gator chomp down the aisles of Wal-Mart. In related news, going to the Gatlinburg Wal-Mart is one of the top 5 scariest things I've ever done.

Second, thanks for posting my picks Blake - and thanks for offering to post everyone's picks...I tried to forward everyone's picks to him, but for some reason my phone coverage would let me receive emails but not send them.

With that, I'll get to this week's picks. The Cowgirls hurt some folks, so did the Bills...

Mills: 2-2
W $50 Colts (-10.5)
L $50 Bengals (-6)
W $50 Vikings (-3.5)
L $100 Chargers (+6.5)

Strait: 1-3
L $150 Cowboys (-3)
W $80 Giants (-9)
L $10 Bengals (-6)
L $10 Redskins (-7)

Shade: 2-2
W $300 Patriots (-1.5)
L $20 Redskins (-7)
W $20 Dolphins (+2)
L $20 Packers (+3.5)

Mansfield: 1-3
L $50 Cowboys (-3)
W $10 Dolphins (+2)
L $50 Titans (-3)
L $30 Packers (+3.5)

Eller: 1-3
L $250 Bills (-2)
W Giants (-9)
L Bengals (-6)
L $20 Parlay - Bills, Giants, Bengals

J Furnas: 2-3
L $40 Ravens (+1.5)
L $40 Lions (+10)
L $40 Seahawks (+10.5)
W $60 Giants (-9)
W $60 Vikings (-3.5)

Mobley: 1-3
W $75 Patriots (-1.5)
L $75 Bills (-2)
L $75 Bengals (-6)
L $25 Jets (+7)

Furnas: 1-3
L $175 Cowboys (-3)
L $75 Chiefs (+9)
L $75 Rams (+9.5)
W $75 Steelers (-6.5)

Hill: 6-6
W $20 Texans (-9)
W $50 Giants (-9)
W $35 Colts (-10.5)
L $45 Bengals (-6)
L $30 Lions (+10)
W $40 Saints (-7)
L $25 Bills (-2)
W $55 49ers (-9.5)
L $10 Cowboys (-3)
L $60 Chargers (+6.5)
W $15 Vikings (-3.5)
L $50 Parlay - Giants, 49ers, Bengals

Kessler: 1-3
L $150 Parlay - Titans, Bills, Packers
W $10 Steelers (-6.5)
L $10 Ravens (+1.5)
L $10 Bills (-2)

Hall: 3-2
W $100 Broncos (+3)
W $100 Giants (-9)
L $100 Bills (-2)
W $100 Colts (-10.5)
L $20 Parlay - 49ers, Bengals, Chargers

Saunders: 1-3
W $50 Dolphins (+2)
L $35 Cowboys (-3)
L $10 Rams (+9.5)
L $10 Parlay - Dolphins, Cowboys, Packers

Shade Hits A Big One

Unworthy Competitors,

Our fearless commish, Shady, texted his picks to me at 12:59pm today.

He put $300 on the Pats, and $20 on Dolphins, Packers, and 'Skins.

His $300 bet came through and I have a feeling he is going to be sitting pretty atop the leaderboard.

I haven't seen any other picks. I've had an alright week so far.

Go CHARGERS!

B. Hill

Week 4 Lines

Week 4 Lines below...

Raiders @ Texans (-9)
Titans (-3) @ Jaguars
Ravens @ Patriots (-1.5)
Giants (-9) @ Chiefs
Bucs @ Redskins (-7)
Seahawks @ Colts (-10.5)
Bengals (-6) @ Browns
Lions @ Bears (-10)
Jets @ Saints (-7)
Bills (-2) @ Dolphins
Rams @ 49ers (-9.5)
Cowboys (-3) @ Broncos
Chargers @ Steelers (-6.5)
Packers @ Vikings (-3.5)

I'm out of town this weekend so updates will be slow. I will make sure at least my picks are updated on the page so you know I'm not cheating. (Because after all, I'm in the lead. I'm that good.)